IN one week from today (saturday) I will be 25. That is officially Mid 20's. I really dont know how I feel turning 25. I am not where I want to be in life. Its like when your growing up you see yourself doing certain things or being in a certain place. Then you get there and realize its not as you'd thought it would be. Im kind of talking in circles. I guess what im trying to say is...I dont know what I'm trying to say. All I know is that at this point in life im working very hard. What I'm working so hard for is not certain yet. At this point in life I had envisioned myself having my own place, working a good job, having a lush social life, traveling. Instead I'm working 7 days a week, working one job with no room for achievement no matter how hard I tried, and working another job with the uncertainty on whether the position will be mine. Im still living at home, I have NO social life, and no time for traveling. These are supposed to be the best years of your life they say but I'm not having the best time. I try to be optimistic though and convince myself that the best is yet to come. I've always been a late bloomer life wise. What needs to happen now is a plan of action. Setting up short term goals to lead to what I want life to be. I dont need to make lots of money, I dont need lots of friends but I do need to be happier. I'm working on that. Hopefully within the next month I will secure this job at William and Mary. If I do so I feel like I can really start to get myself together. I can start taking classes for my masters (masters in what I dont know), join a community orchestra so I can play music again. Those are the short term goals. Moving out of the house is a goal but I am a little hesitant on that. I do want my own space, but I am a little afraid to leave my mom, physically and financially, I dont know if I am quite ready to do that yet. One of my ultimate goals is to DJ. I have been wanting to do that since I was a kid. I've always bugged my mom about DJ equip. I also want to delve into audio engineering/producing, another thing I've wanted do as a kid (pretty much the reason I went to the school I did cause I thought that was going to happen, obviously it didnt). More specifically after hearing Missy Elliot's Supa Dupa Fly that changed my life. Alright I'm ranting here, but I just hope by turning 25 everything will be Uphill from here and not Downhill cause I dont think I can get any lower from where I am right now.
Mid 20s Crisis.
