Love ODB style

Love, is a burning flame, and ODB has been burnt, more specifically by gonorrhea, twice. I dont know where this is going but let's just say Russell Jones has a way with the ladies.

Bitch, don't talk about bitches I'm fucking them
Please no fat bitches I'm fucking slim
Unless it's one of those nights I'm stroking my shit
I don't care 'bout how I'm fucking it
How much it costs, big fat...crackhead?
Ain't trying to hear all those words you said
Five minutes, bitch (ahhhh) and I came
Fuck your name, and from where you came

I don't give a fuck, bitch! I will kill you!
You Shaquita! You Belinda! You too Passion...BITCH!
Russell Tyrone Jones

ABDC S5 - Ep 5 : The Music Video Challenge (Submitted by LEY)

Here we are in week 2 of the Nationals and it’s the music video challenge. Let’s get right into the performances…

Poreotix – After clinching the first safe spot by viewer votes they performed to “Umbrella” by Rihanna. It was an OK performance, but not up to par with their last two.

Jungle Boogie – Second safe and dancing to Shakira’s “Give It Up to Me”. Good performance, but nothing that WOW’d me.

Static Noyze – They had the video for Little Boots “New in Town”. Frankly I’ve never even heard this song till today, much less seen the video (like MTV plays those anyway), but the judges gave them a good review.

Saltare – Unfortunately they were the 4th safe crew (again, WTF!). They had to perform to Metro Station’s “Shake It”, a song that I like and just got knocked down a peg because this crew danced to it. I’ll give them props for the fact that the sections that mirrored the video were executed perfectly, but there were problems. The judges only pointed out one instance where they got tangled in the ropes, but I counted 3. It was only a matter of time before this would happen. Can we say “Hello bottom votes”?

Heavy Impact – Completely astounded that they were not in the top four safe crews, but hopefully this performance puts them there. They had Colby O’Donis “What You Got” and naturally they had a good performance. They may not be the cleanest crew on the show, but their groove style makes them one of the most enjoyable to watch every week.

Hype 5-0 – I mentioned last week that they would be somewhere in the bottom three (actually my bottom predictions from last week where all correct, go me!). For their performance to Britney Spears “Three” they had some good ideas and some lousy ones. I liked the opening use of the stage where the girls were on the rails and the one guy member doing the split to create the dance pole was pretty ingenious. However, there were several moment when the girls were out of sync with each other and the kiss at the end was unnecessary. Not that I’m against some lez action! I know they did it to pay homage to the infamous Madonna/Britney/Christina VMA kiss, but I’ve seen it before (note Team Millennium’s last performance in season three, from the Britney Spears challenge no less).

And the Bottom 2 are…

Royal Flush – Performed first to Cascada’s “Evacuate the Dancefloor” and they did a good job. Lots of “moments” and good chore-o, but PLEASE get rid of the corny card stuff!

Blueprint – They had Omarion’s “I Get It In” and aside from the headstand part, they too did a good job.

Elimination – Both crews gave good performances, I my opinion some of the best performances of the night came from the bottom two. I really thought that Blueprint was going to be sent home since they messed up on the headstand, but they must have had a higher viewer vote rating from the previous week, cuz Royal Flush got sent packin’ (There ya go Tylia! Your WTF crew was sent home!)

Overall, the music video challenge was weak. I think it stifles the crews’ creativity when half of their performance has to match the video. My bottom three predictions for the week are Saltare, Hype 5-0 and Blueprint. Both Blueprint and Saltare had noticeable screw-ups in their performances and Hype’s kiss scene may be a ploy to get more votes, and it just may work, but not enough to beat out the fan base of the other crews. All-in-all a ho-hum week in performances and I’m looking forward to everyone raising the bar next week. Each season has an “insert-iconic-artist-name-here” challenge and next week (love her or hate her) the Lady Gaga Challenge should provide some interesting results.

Fag Hag Corner

If you know me, you know I love the gays, and for some reason they love me. Case in point: Last summer I went into a 7-11 down by Buckroe Beach in hampton to get me a big gulp. I go up to the register to pay for it and the cashier (whom ive never met in me life) who was an older gentlemen just told me to go ahead, as in not pay for it, followed by the phrase "Love you" in all of his 'How you doin?' glory. Yes honey. Anyway I saw this over on Crunk and Disorderly and I luhved it. If they came out with this as a real single, I would totally buy it. I dont know why hip hop is so homophobic and there isnt an OPENLY gay hip hop artist. Cause we all now half them rappers gay anyways. 'How you doin?'

Countdown to the Middle

IN one week from today (saturday) I will be 25. That is officially Mid 20's. I really dont know how I feel turning 25. I am not where I want to be in life. Its like when your growing up you see yourself doing certain things or being in a certain place. Then you get there and realize its not as you'd thought it would be. Im kind of talking in circles. I guess what im trying to say is...I dont know what I'm trying to say. All I know is that at this point in life im working very hard. What I'm working so hard for is not certain yet. At this point in life I had envisioned myself having my own place, working a good job, having a lush social life, traveling. Instead I'm working 7 days a week, working one job with no room for achievement no matter how hard I tried, and working another job with the uncertainty on whether the position will be mine. Im still living at home, I have NO social life, and no time for traveling. These are supposed to be the best years of your life they say but I'm not having the best time. I try to be optimistic though and convince myself that the best is yet to come. I've always been a late bloomer life wise. What needs to happen now is a plan of action. Setting up short term goals to lead to what I want life to be. I dont need to make lots of money, I dont need lots of friends but I do need to be happier. I'm working on that. Hopefully within the next month I will secure this job at William and Mary. If I do so I feel like I can really start to get myself together. I can start taking classes for my masters (masters in what I dont know), join a community orchestra so I can play music again. Those are the short term goals. Moving out of the house is a goal but I am a little hesitant on that. I do want my own space, but I am a little afraid to leave my mom, physically and financially, I dont know if I am quite ready to do that yet. One of my ultimate goals is to DJ. I have been wanting to do that since I was a kid. I've always bugged my mom about DJ equip. I also want to delve into audio engineering/producing, another thing I've wanted do as a kid (pretty much the reason I went to the school I did cause I thought that was going to happen, obviously it didnt). More specifically after hearing Missy Elliot's Supa Dupa Fly that changed my life. Alright I'm ranting here, but I just hope by turning 25 everything will be Uphill from here and not Downhill cause I dont think I can get any lower from where I am right now.

Mid 20s Crisis.

And Now, Thoughts from Lil Wayne

I have not done one of these in a looooong time. Basically what I do is drop knowledge and insight to the world via the lyrical stylings Sir Carter aka Lil Wayne you can see one example here. Without further ado a few words from one if not the only real philophizer walking this orb we call mother earth.
"Gazing out the window of something foreign, I'm thinking to my self. Self..HOW COME MAKING MONEY NEVER GET'S BORING?! How come making money never never get's boring?"
These words are from a song with possibly the best title ever "F!@#ing Me With Her Eyes"
Honorable Mentions from the same song:
"Baby can I put my private parts in your storage!?"
"Shorty we can kick it like my name Chuck Norris"

MESSAGE!

ABDC S5 - Episode 4 : The Nationals (submited by LEY)

And we’re OFF! The first true episode of ABDC premiered on Thursday night and being the opinionated person that I am, I’ve got a few things to say. First, I liked how they brought Randy Jackson in to start off the competition. Say a few words to inspire the crews, reveal the banners, yada-yada-yada, “See you at the finish line”. Usually the audience sees him just at the end to present the golden B-boy trophy and (by that time having forgotten that “Randy Jackson presents” is at the beginning of ABDC) you’re like “What the hell is he doing here?” The great thing about this episode is that, unlike the regionals where the crews have been working on the same routines for the last few weeks (or even months), they have to prepare their performance in just one week to a song NOT of their choosing. I honestly thought I was going to see a huge difference in the performance, but was surprisingly mistake for the most part. Let’s review…

West

Hype 5 0 – Not as good as their regional performance, but still a decent job. Obviously (compared to the other crews from their region) the choice to send into battle.

Heavy Impact – Good God can they move! Loved the performance and I was I awe when Issac, who is probably the biggest guy in their crew, doing a back flip! I mentioned last week that I recognized them as being one of my underdogs of the season, but they are turning out to be some serious contenders.

Poreotix – The judges really gave them a hard time this week about incorporating more than just isolations in their routine. Just like the audience I said “Awwwww BOOOOOO!” It was a great performance regardless. After taking some time to think about it though, how cool would it be to see one of their routines with some fluid footwork or threading amid comedic storytelling and “crispy” isolations? AMAZING!

South

Swagger Crew – Very disappointing, considering that they were my favorites from the south. As much as I hate to say it, they had the weakest performance of the night.

Jungle Boogie – Impressive! Out of all nine, they have the most intense energy that doesn’t let down. Great performance, I’m really starting to like this crew.

Royal Flush – Last week I said that they were my WTF crew – can I retract that statement? They put on a solid performance this week, nuff said.

East

Saltare – Ok, these guys have now become my new WTF crew. I found their performance to be BORING! All the judges did was rant and rave about how they incorporated the use of the jump ropes. Yes, I understand that what they are doing is very athletic and the timing has to be on point. How is that different from any other crew? All I saw were tricks, tricks, and more tricks. This is a dance competition, where was the chore-o? Oh, you mean that bit where they tossed aside the ropes and did the isolations, right? That part that looked strangely similar to what Quest did on the Hip Hop Decathlon episode in season 3? And to clarify things, one of the female members mentioned that they ARE NOT a gimmick crew. Really?! Seriously? Looks like someone needs a vocabulary lesson…

Gimmick – noun; an ingenious or novel device, scheme, or stratagem, esp. one designed to attract attention or increase appeal. i.e. “Your crew has a gimmick, dumbass.”

verb (used with an object); to equip or embellish with unnecessary features, esp. in order to increase salability, acceptance, etc. i.e. “You’re a gimmick crew, you stupid fuck.”

(definitions, aside from examples, come straight from Dictionary.com)

I would also like to note that even before she said that, the video had another member talking about how the whole reason they are doing the show is to PROMOTE JUMP ROPING. It’s only the second episode they have been on and they’re already pissing me off. Hopefully the judges will take off their rose-colored glasses and ream them next week. Better yet, I hoped they get kicked off soon and save a crew that can actually dance.

Static Noyze – This crew truly is the underdog of the season. The day before the first national episode and one of their guys has a back injury. Then the next night, he hits the stage and performs with a back brace on. On top of that they are sent into battle AGAIN, even after putting on an amazing performance (much better than their regionals BTW). Look forward to their next performance, usually when you’re faced with elimination the next routine sets the roof on fire!

Blueprint – They did a great number on this one. The chore-o matched the song very well and it was all around entertaining. No bad comments here.

Unfortunately, we come to the battle where one must be sent home. No surprise that Static Noyze was immediately saved. I personally felt that Swagger Crew’s battle was better than Hype 5 0, but if you count in their first performance of the night (which I’m supposing the judges did) it meant the Swagger Crew was out. And that’s what happened.

Next week’s challenge is the music video challenge. The crews are going to be presented with a well known vid that they will have to put their own spin on. My bottom three predictions for next week include Hype 5 0, Royal Flush, and Blueprint. Hype didn’t have as good of a performance as the other crews and both RF & Blueprint don’t have the gathering fan base that crews like Heavy Impact, Poreotix, or Static Noyze have gained. That’s all for today boys and gals, see ya next week!

Kicking off ABDC Season 5 (submitted by LEY)

Strap on your dancing shoes and hold on to the ass of your pants, cuz ABDC Season 5 is here! That’s right, after a craptastic fourth season, season five is bringing back the hype with new crews, a new format and a new judge. The best crews of seasons 1-3 brought “charisma” and “energy” to the table in heavy doses, something season 4 lacked. No one impressed me, no one stood out, no one really had (as JC would say) a “moment” that made me want to root for them. The fact that I couldn’t for the life of me find that special “audience connection” with any of the crews nearly broke my heart. Was this all that ABDC had to offer? Was this the best they could do after an amazing third season? Needless to say after hearing about the changes being made to ABDC, I was extremely doubtful.

Right off the bat, I was pleased with the formatting changes. With the addition of the regional episodes the season will run a bit longer and it gives the audience more time to find a connection and relate with the crews and their members.

I will say there was some concern about Shane Sparks. Well, not HIM per se, but his position as a judge for the show made the most sense out of the three. (Side rant: Really, Shane?! Really?! Well, I’m not all THAT surprised. At least someone finally exposed him for the creep we knew, deep down inside, he was. Jackass.) From a judging stand point he did give some of the best criticism for the crews to improve. Insert new judge Omarion. This one came straight out of left field, but it’s not all that unprecedented. Omarion did work with Shane in You Got Served, like JC he was in a boy band that danced (B2K who?), and he has an album coming out this year (i.e. MTV exploitation boys and girls. I could go on this side rant for quite some time, but that is another post for another day). My overall impression is that his capability as a judge is slowly coming along. He has more constructive criticism for the crews every week and it’ll be interesting to see how he develops as a judge by the end of the season.

Finally, the meat ‘n’ potatoes of this post, the crews! And the nine contenders for Season 5 ARE…

*Next to each crew denotes the crews safe spot or if they won the bottom three battle

South
Swagger Crew (1) Jungle Boogie (2) Royal Flush (WB)

East
Saltare (1) Blueprint Crew (2) Static Noyze (WB)

West
Poreotix (1) Heavy Impact (2) Hype 5-0 (WB)

And here’s even more fun! Early Season 5 Superlatives! Enjoy!

WTF Crew: Royal Flush
Every season has one. That one crew you just can’t stand and every week they seem to make it back. S3 had the God awful “Fly Khicks”, S4 had “Afroborike”, and season 5 brings you Royal Flush. I believe that Ghost was a better crew, but because of RF’s back story (of having attempted ABDC for 5 years) the judges leaned in their favor in the battle.

Underdogs: TIE! Static Noyze and Heavy Impact
Is this a surprise? Static Noyze (as Lil Mama mentioned) has a “Fanny Pak” vibe about them. With their classic and cultural based dance moves, I’ve gotta hunch we will see some interesting performances from them. Heavy Impact knew they would be underdogs, but you gotta admit that these boys (despite their size) can really move! I think that just by watching their regional performance earned them a HUGE fan base and we can’t wait to see more.

Favorite Crew Icon: Blueprint Crew

Good Crew likely to drop out halfway thru the season: Saltare
I’m just as skeptical as the judges. Their performance had lots of trick and little coreo. Now, ABDC has had its share of gimmick crews (i.e. BreakSk8, Dynamic Edition, etc) however those past crews based their gimmick off of the dancing experience they already had. Even then, they only lasted halfway thru the competition. Saltare is the exact opposite. They are medal winning jump ropers and their dancing abilities (I’m talking intricate coreo, NOT TRICKS) are yet to be seen. Another wrench in the works for them is that they have to carry and use a full time prop. That’s something that has never been done on the show, and more likely to get old really quick.

1st Impression Favorite to Win: Poreotix
Call me crazy, or that I just have a thing for Asian guys (love you sweetheart!) but I’m calling it in. These guys will be the Season 5 Champs. I guess the best way to review these guys is the first list everything they did right. High Energy. Charismatic. Theatrical. Comedic. Spot on Musicality. Precision Timing. So much thought and detail went into everything they did. They also proved that you don’t need to have tricks or complicated dance moves to make an impact. These guys have that “it” factor. They are the reason why I will anticipate watching every new episode.

(Note* This is MY OPINION, if you don’t like it go fuck a goat or shit a hat…whatever the kids are calling it nowadays. Yeah. THAT.)