My Life as Tylia

Hello there. I have not blogged in a very long time cause I had nothing to really blog about extensively, so I figure we'll catch up a bit. Hey I'm 26 now, hooray. Hey did you know it's 2011? I JUST figured that out. Heh. Earlier this year during a facebook chat me and one of my besties decided to set a target date and move to NYC next summer. When we decided on that I started to feel a lot better and dare I say happier. I finally had something to look forward to, a goal, a mission. For quite a while I was in high spirits. That was till I had a passerby conversation with a security guard downstairs explaining my current dilemmas and I just slumped right back into the hole I thought was starting to climb out of. Its so funny how a seemingly harmless, small, quaint, short conversation can take such a major effect. Im stuck in a place, well I've been stuck for years now and I try to see that light, the closer I get the further it goes. Last year I decided to try to go back to school and get my masters in music education. It wasnt because I really wanted to be a music teacher it was because it was something I could see myself doing and something that has some stability behind it. However it is not something that I am completely passionate about. Then I found this studio in Virginia Beach that offered extensive training in Music Production and Engineering. This is something that I want to do, this is something I am passionate about. Of course it costs money, money that I don't have. I have picked up a lot more hours at work, and I do make a bit more money but any extra money that I have I'm helping out my family. Ever since my father passed away and me being the eldest child it is my duty to step up and help when I can. But when I am trying to get MY life together helping out is only holding me back at this point. But what am I going to do not give my mom a few bucks when I can? Not pay a bill? Not have any groceries in the house? So I am looking for a second job so I can help my family and help myself. Up to this point my job search has been a big fat goose egg, no surprise there. So in conclusion I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm just existing. The mid 20s crisis continues, on and on and on it goes.